Friday, November 03, 2006

I can feel my freedom coming and it feels like it is going to slam into me with a huge head on collision that will blow me off of my feet, I can just tell. My thoughts are frequently preoccupied with what I am leaving behind, what it means to leave my home town of twenty eight years having only ever spent three months away from it in one go. I think of all the people that I know or faces that I have become accustomed to seeing. There is the woman that I often see walking alone when I ride to work, she has amazing silvery hair and the widest smile, she always says "Good morning" depsite my not knowing her. The cashier in the supermarket who always politley makes small talk and we laugh, the library attendent who never seems to smile so I try to make conversation, the barmaid/man at the Nags Head and the guy who always sits alone in the corner of the pub, smoking and watching the punters come and go. I think about these people and how they are likely to be doing the same things when I am not here. I am fascinated by these people, I am interested in the routine, I shall no longer be part of these habits or routines. Urgh, now I am feeling morbid because I have not told them that I am leaving (Not that I know them personally) I wonder if they would notice and/ or whether they would think me dead........

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