Namaste!

I have spent some time over the last week thinking about Kodai. I was happy to get away from the town, conversations that I had heard and stories that I had been told gave me a fresh perspective on the lives of people in India, particularly those lives of women. I am now going to write a little about it and I shall be frank, apologies in advance if I cause upset.....

Some women here like (women all over the world) are dealt a terrible hand.

My husband may beat me because I will not sleep with him tonight.
My husband may beat me because he has had a bad day.
My husband may beat because he is drunk.
I scream and my neighbours will hear but nobody nearby will help because they would be prying, besides I am a woman and the police will probably not care anyhow.
My marriage was arranged. When I was thirteen I was already considered to be in adulthood.
I can work as a stone cutter for 50 rupees a day. It is not so glamorous as carving elaborate designs, I simply make big rocks smaller.
I can collect firewood for 50 rupees a day, it is heavy and I have to walk far. Maybe I will have a permit to do so, if I do not then I can get around the forestry official by fulfilling his needs.
I can sell my body for 20 rupees.
I have had to sell my teenage daughter on a three year contract because I needed the money instantly. These decisions are never easy to make. Hopefully she will just clean the dishes for his catering business.
My family and I are quite often sick. I have not been taught about the importance of hygiene. I do not know to boil the water, I do not know that the water is contaminated with sewage.
I do not wash my children regularly because I am too tired, too busy, I care not. They have sores as a result but I do not know why.
I can walk to a standpipe to get water for the household. I can walk three kilometres or so to get to it and then have to carry the heavy urn back. I may have to make a number of trips in a single day.

The day after hearing these things I saw a woman sitting at the side of the road outside of the hospital accompanied by two women and a man who were trying to console her. She had a very bloody nose and was sobbing immensely, I could not help but think the worse due to what I had heard the day before. I spent a few days looking at women and wondering whether they had suffered, yes my perspective had been skewed with a harsh reality and I no longer just saw pretty coloured saris.

In many villages and towns there are no places of support for women particularly the Dalit women. It made me sad when we saw first hand the distress that is in peoples lives because they were born of the wrong gender.

However.....

There are some good people in the world that are trying to help and make things better. There are people that are trying to support these women and are also trying to create women's centres. As always there are problems with bureaucracy but people are determined to overcome such obstacles. The laws in India changed last November to help protect women. For the first time women could divorce their husbands on the grounds of abuse. Unfortunately this will take years to trickle down to a level whereby women will actually have some protection and somewhere to go. Poor women in particular cannot leave, they cannot go anywhere. If they have no income, no husband and nowhere to live then their lot in life is quite possibly worse than putting up with the beatings. They simply have nowhere to turn, they cannot leave. Things will change with time, as long as their are people with the willpower to make lives better. Education is a necessity.

I want to share every aspect of the trip on the blog. Writing this less glamorous part is as important as sharing the beautiful sights and the exciting adventures.

Thank you for reading.